Nine things you want to say to nine people….
- Hey asshole! The bus is not a conference room for your phone calls. You are a straight-up fool.
- You’re the best ma and pa I could have asked for.
- Lindsey, you’re a total idiot. Write me a letter from the clinker eh?
- Hey person who lives above me (aka “Ellly” short for elephant), what THE FUCK are you doing up there at all hours (like last night at 2am)? Weight-lifting? Adderall-induced redecorating on the daily? Walking with cement in your socks? One more time and we’re coming for you!
- I’m really lucky to know you and have you in my life.
- Buy the new Eminem CD. No, I am not joking.
- You’re hot. What yo name is?
- Ryan (as in Gosling), will you marry me? Rachel was a basket case. I am far more stable.
- Thanks for always being there. You are true blue.